


In Which Petunia Married a Movie Director

by theresnomeaning



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:32:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresnomeaning/pseuds/theresnomeaning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... and Harry Potter thinks his Potions teacher has a promising actor career...</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Petunia Married a Movie Director

Professor Severus Snape entered the classroom as he usually did on the first Potions class of the brat's lives...

He strode into the classroom, robes billowing behind him, and closed the door with a bang. Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs together were better than the damned combination of Slytherins and Gryffindors, at least... Not that his will to strangle the little imbeciles was any smaller.

And this year he had another reason to hate those classes...

Somehow Harry Potter managed to end up in Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff!

He supposed Lily would have loved her son all the same, but honestly... Hufflepuff?

He walked in the way he knew to frighten the tiny beasts - not that you needed that much to scare a Hufflepuff anyway - and began to say his usual speech...

"CUT!" someone shouted and Snape looked around to see who had dared to interrupt him... He was ready to take points and give a detention already when he laid his eyes on Harry Potter, who had stood up and was walking towards him.

Potter. Of course... It had to be Potter.

"That was amazing, Professor Snape," Potter said. "The way you walk - God you looked so much like Darth Vader in A New Hope... But," the child paused and lifted a finger. "I think you should be a little more expressive while you talk..."

Severus blinked... Just what nonsense was Potter talking about? Who the hell was Darth Vader? Snape heard some children snickering and looked at Potter furiously.

"Fifty points from Hufflepuff. Now. Sit. Down. Mr. Potter!"

"Your voice is amazing! Did you know that you sound a bit like Christopher Lee?" Potter said as though Snape should feel flattered by that. "His voice is lower actually, and a bit better than yours," Potter muttered. "But nothing that can't be improved with training... Since I can't afford paying Christopher Lee to be on my humble movie... And you already tried to use your face more - I liked it."

Snape took a deep breath, wondering if Dumbledore would be that much upset if he killed the brat right there...

"I would use you as villain on my uncle's movies... Or," Potter stroked his chin "Perhaps some misunderstood hero... That would fit you perfectly, I think..."

Harry took a muggle notepad and pen from his pockets and began to read something there...

"Oh, yes... Here it is. Professor McGonagall accepted to participate - as soon as I learned she can turn into a cat I was a-ma-zed... Professor Dumbledore will be on my movie too... Professor Quirrell asked for a role too but I'm not really sure if I'll accept him - doesn't he look a bit odd?"

"POTTER!" Snape shouted. The whole classroom was laughing aloud. Never, in all his years of teaching he had lost the control of the brats like that. "Another fifty points from Hufflepuff, now sit down and stop babbling this nonsense. Did the killing curse really affect your brain or you never had one to begin with?"

"Oh... If you put some more effort I think you can work on the scripts too... You could write whenever I need an insult..."

"Potter..."

But Potter did not listen a word after that, lost on his delusional plans of writing scripts and recording films at Hogwarts. By the end of the "class" Hufflepuff had lost four-hundred points and Harry guaranteed Snape that the teacher would have an important role on his first movie...


End file.
